In light of Harry and Meghan's interview with Oprah, it got me thinking about my temple recommend interview yesterday. What I loved about it was seeing two people love and prioritize each other over an institution that doesn't know how to love or care for them at all.
To have that when your relationship is connected to an institution that feels it has a claim on you is a beautiful thing. It involves saying "no" and facing fears so many times. Being willing to be punished because you won't kiss the ring.
Yesterday, I was honest about my concerns on so many subjects during my temple recommend interview. I was told those concerns were not nearly as important as my performance and presence in person at church, even when it contradicts the decision my husband and I made together to continue socially distancing. This isn't the first time someone from the institutional church has tried to come between me and my husband. It won't be the last. We learned from the very beginning, before we were ever even married, not to give anyone outside our marriage space to do this. Not even the Church.
So when I see Harry and Meghan talking about an institution using this same tactic against them, I know what that's like. I know how it feels. There are lessons our institution can learn from this, how toxic it is when this is what we tolerate in our marriages from someone else.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, especially for those from my current ward watching me. My husband and I are a united front. We make our decisions together. A "no" from me is in equal force a "no" from him. You won't use us against each other, so don't try. If you talk about me behind my back or try to conspire with him to get what you want out of me, I will know because he will tell me. He always has. He always will.
That shouldn't surprise you. It's what a loving, loyal family looks like. It's what you taught him to be.
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