There are times in everybody's experience in the Church where they deal with someone who is unwilling, if not incapable, of taking any kind of correction. Whether because their ego is simply that fragile or because they fear the vulnerability and possible rejection of acknowledging their imperfections, the outcome ends up being the same. That is the experience I've had in my interactions with Kwaku El, going back to 2017.
In my first interaction with Kwaku, he was expressing his discomfort with anyone who publicly criticizes the leadership of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Because I was at the height of my institutional loyalty to the Church in 2017, serving as a temple ordinance worker at the Boise temple, I was undergoing the sensitivity training specifically developed for ordinance workers. These types of inflexible, judgmental attitudes between church members are a real problem in temple service because they have a way of manifesting towards the patrons in really hurtful ways.
Because I was confronting these attitudes within myself and the harm they cause, and was also aware that most church members wouldn't see those sensitivity training materials unless they served as temple workers, I tried to share those perspectives with others who were truly invested in wanting to see the Church succeed. He was participating in a YouTube series called Three Mormons, inspired by the Good Mythical Morning format, where the topics were focused on conversations about the beliefs and lived experiences of Latter-day Saints. Because I saw potential in what Kwaku was trying to create, he was someone I tried to help in that way.
It didn't exactly go according to plan.
The dynamic at Three Mormons was one where Shelly Williams would give traditional, canned responses and perspectives to topics and questions, Kwaku would either agree or disagree with a bombastic (and at times antagonistic) response, and Ian Forsyth would end up moderating and being the level-headed ringleader. It's a dynamic that can be engaging and fun, so long as it remains playful and ultimately respectful.
Shelly ultimately left the project before it was finished. Three Mormons ended in 2018. These facts surprise no one who watched the show and could see the tension between Shelly and Kwaku, then Kwaku and the other guests on the show. His banter with Shelly crossed lines from being fun and playful into the territory of being disrespectful. At no point was that more apparent than when he hit her on camera during their episode on modesty.
I confronted Kwaku about this at the end of 2017. That wasn't what I set out to do. Another user and I were talking about the treatment of women on Three Mormons. Kwaku entered that conversation uninvited to challenge me on what I said about the show. Here is that conversation:
Notice how I didn't name Kwaku in the initial criticism about someone striking Shelly on the show. He responded and got defensive because he was already aware of exactly what I was talking about, that I was talking about him. He was fully aware of what he had done, took no ownership of that behavior, and expressed no remorse. Doubling down, deflection, and denial are tools by which he shaped his persona and ongoing relevance as a provocateur. This is a pattern that he has followed throughout all of the controversies that have surrounded him.
The dance parties in the early days of the COVID-19 lock downs. His stint with FairMormon and the death threats he instigated against John Dehlin. These have led to the ongoing suspicion for years that he has creating alternate Twitter accounts, including DezNat accounts, to engage in online harassment of former church members.
There was also an entire debacle in which Kwaku was accused of harassment and reported to the Title IX office at BYU. What transpired after that is a tangled mess that spread to the friends and supporters of the women who made the accusation. Part of this debacle has been the continued doxxing of a former BYU student who is gay, estranged from his family, and specifically changed his name because of alleged childhood sexual abuse. This is separate from the undisclosed accusations of sexual harassment of multiple women of color, as well as accusations from at least one unnamed victim who has confided in others that Kwaku El sexually assaulted her.
Needless to say, Kwaku El doesn't have a great reputation online or offline. Like all bad reputations, this comes from both the true and untrue things people believe about him. Because some of these things are unknowable and unprovable to anyone but him and the people directly involved in these situations, the only thing people have to judge him on are the interactions they've had with him personally.
If Kwaku is confused about why so many people are willing to believe pretty much anything people say about him, he doesn't need to wonder. I can tell him that directly. It's because he has a long history of being as ungrateful and disrespectful to the people trying to help him and teach him as he is to the people who hate him. He is incapable of telling the difference between those two groups when it comes time to take any kind of correction about his own words and behavior, lashing out against both groups indiscriminately.
As long as he stays in that place mentally and emotionally, especially when he has a documented history of attacking people, anything and everything he's accused of will always appear plausible to some degree.
That's what happens when you and your personal brand cross the line from harmless provocateur to schadenfreude and stochastic terrorism.
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