Fast and testimony meeting hasn't been my jam for a long time. I usually try to find something else to do. Today, I studied my patriarchal blessing.
How does my patriarchal blessing equip me to confront racism in my life and in the Church? That was the question I set out to explore.
Let me tell you, it was like drinking from a fire hose. I could barely keep up with all the thoughts coming into my mind. And there are some of them I'd like to share, because I think they bear repeating.
I can't become the person my Heavenly Parents want me to be if I harbor any kind of racism in my heart. I cannot live with them if I'm unwilling to confront this within myself. Racism resists the Holy Spirit of God. It is the spirit of apostasy and enmity against God and his children. To overcome racism is a commandment. A failure to do so is a violation of every covenant I have made in the Church.
I've also come to understand that this is my only way forward in the Church. Staying for me means, out of my own personal necessity, to confront and teach against racism in my community. I cannot silently tolerate racism in my church. I cannot leave it alone, or let it be someone else's problem. I will lose respect for my community and myself if I do this. I cannot stay if I do what some of my brothers and sisters expect me to do.
That wasn't my conclusion. That was a warning directly from the Spirit to me. The only way forward for me to stay in the Church is to follow my Savior, to join him in what he is doing to bring anti-racism to the Church.
I need to more fully engage in the work of being a real advocate for people of color. I've had many invitations and experiences to prepare me for this, and I've never followed through on them to their logical conclusion. But many of the promises in my blessing depend on that advocacy. I will fall short of my divine potential if I fail. And this will directly affect many people outside of myself.
I saw new ways to interpret the promises and gifts I've been given, how they apply to this endeavor. I foresaw opportunities and experiences I've not yet had. I learned new things about myself and my future from asking these questions, and turning to my patriarchal blessing for answers.
I'm glad I did this with my patriarchal blessing. I never cease to be amazed at what the Lord can teach me when I ask in faith to be taught.
