Sister Paradox

First, I was speechless.

Then, I was excited!

In the end, I was humbled.


{ It was worth the wait. It always is }

Enduring to the End

I get a lot of people passing through here looking for stories on enduring to the end. I assume these searches are for lessons and talks. Because I aim to serve, allow me to share two of my favorite examples of this principle, and the talks associated with them.

The first example is from the life of Jesus Christ. I direct you to Elder Jeffrey R. Holland's talk The Inconvenient Messiah. Elder Holland expands upon what Jesus went through when He was tempted by Satan, as recorded in Matthew 4: 1-11.

Elder Holland explains Satan's treachery in each of the temptations that he gives to Christ, and how we must be sure to avoid that same treachery in our lives. Elder Holland explains what Jesus does to overcome His encounter with Satan, and what we MUST do to follow Christ's example to overcome our showdowns with Satan throughout our lives.

"I wish to speak this morning of the demands of discipline and discipleship, of the responsibilities we have to face when we choose to follow Jesus Christ. In the Savior's life and in ours, Satan counters such discipline with temptations of an easier way, with an offer of 'convenient Christianity.' It is a temptation Jesus resisted, and so must we. Life was very inconvenient for him, and, unless I miss my guess, it will often be so for you and for me when we take upon us his name."

Enduring to the end, keeping the faith, is a part of our baptismal covenant. We give up the ability to ever stand on neutral ground regarding Christ when we are baptized. Because of this, we will be fighting and opposing Satan for the rest of our mortal lives--if not longer. Sometimes our fight will be more active and tiring than at other times, but even in times of peace we must oppose that which is evil. That is what enduring to the end means. I love this talk because it expresses that reality in no uncertain terms.

This second story comes from President Thomas S. Monson's talk Be of Good Cheer. In his talk, President Monson speaks of a woman who loses her husband in World War II. In order to evacuate to safety, this woman must then trek from East Prussia to Western Germany alone with her 4 children.

One by one, she loses each of her children to the unforgiving winter, and for the first three children she digs their graves with a spoon. She loses her baby daughter last, and digs that grave in the frozen ground with her bare hands. President Monson retells this woman's prayer and describes how it saved her life:

"'Dear Heavenly Father, I do not know how I can go on. I have nothing left—except my faith in Thee. I feel, Father, amidst the desolation of my soul, an overwhelming gratitude for the atoning sacrifice of Thy Son, Jesus Christ. I cannot express adequately my love for Him. I know that because He suffered and died, I shall live again with my family; that because He broke the chains of death, I shall see my children again and will have the joy of raising them. Though I do not at this moment wish to live, I will do so, that we may be reunited as a family and return—together—to Thee.'

When she finally reached her destination of Karlsruhe, Germany, she was emaciated. Brother Babbel said that her face was a purple-gray, her eyes red and swollen, her joints protruding. She was literally in the advanced stages of starvation. In a Church meeting shortly thereafter, she bore a glorious testimony, stating that of all the ailing people in her saddened land, she was one of the happiest because she knew that God lived, that Jesus is the Christ, and that He died and was resurrected so that we might live again. She testified that she knew if she continued faithful and true to the end, she would be reunited with those she had lost and would be saved in the celestial kingdom of God." --President Monson

This woman understood the power of her testimony of Jesus Christ and her prayers to Him, and that's how she endured to the end of her struggle. She knew that her personal suffering had no bearing on the reality of Christ's atonement and resurrection, and the truth and power of His gospel. She knew and trusted that her covenants within His gospel would save her, whether she lived or died. That is a choice lesson, which only comes personally through suffering. It cannot be given in an easier, more convenient way.

That is the testimony of my life. My life has not been the most difficult in all of human history, nor has it been the easiest. But I trust God to help me through everything that I face. I trust His gospel and His servants to help me and teach me. I trust the insight and wisdom they've gained over a lifetime of service and preparation for and from their callings. I rejoice to be able to recognize the truth in what they teach. I share their words in every way I can because I know they are true, and I've gained that witness from the Holy Ghost.

I know the Holy Ghost speaks the words of Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. I know that Jesus of Nazareth is the Messiah, and that there is NO other name in heaven or on earth by which mankind can be saved from sin and death. I bear that witness joyfully in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen

Annotating Patriarchal Blessings: Adobe Reader

In my previous post on annotation, you'll notice I said I don't annotate my blessing with Microsoft Word. Instead, I use the Comment feature in Adobe Reader. The programs are pretty similar, but I like the less crowded display of Adobe. Please also note that I'm in no way trying to sell Adobe Acrobat. Quite the opposite. I'm trying to help you get what I believe of my own accord to be a superior electronic annotating experience.

Getting Started
The first step is to get your blessing into a PDF format with comments enabled. If you've created a PDF of your blessing with any other program--whether through converting to PDF from another document type online, or converting to PDF with your scanner--you will notice that the Comments feature will not be enabled on your document. This feature can only be enabled through a version of Adobe Acrobat. How I got around that is downloading a free trial of Adobe Acrobat Pro (found here, link to the free trial in the right hand column), opening my PDF, and enabling the comments.

Once you have Adobe Acrobat, you can create a PDF of your blessing by clicking the Create button, and choosing either a File from your computer, or to create one from your Scanner.

Enable Comments
Once you have your blessing open in Adobe Acrobat, go to the Comments menu, click on Enable For Commenting In Adobe Reader, then save the document. This will ensure that your document will be enabled for comments in Adobe Reader (which is free) long after you 30 day free trial in Acrobat Pro ends.

Personally, I view this as a good time to get out of Acrobat Pro. Considering I don't plan on buying Acrobat Pro and my experience of annotating is going to be largely in Reader once the trial ends, it makes sense to me to learn how to annotate in Reader. This guide will proceed with Reader. If you want to play around with it in Acrobat Pro, you're on your own from here.

Find the PDF on your computer and open it with Adobe Reader. This may require you to right-click on the PDF and choose Open With... then click on Adobe Reader.

Create a Comment
Go to the Tools menu, click Customize Toolbars, and check the box next to Sticky Note. This puts a button on your toolbar for you to add annotations. If you don't want the toolbar button, go to the Tools menu, click Comments & Markup, and choose Sticky Note. The result will look something like this:

Because I don't have a mock blessing to show you, I'm going to proceed with a talk on Patriarchal Blessings to go over the mechanics. (As a slightly unrelated aside, the PDF archives on speeches.byu.edu have comments enabled. It's a great way to find your favorite BYU devotionals and talks, and annotate them.)


Also note that the small thought bubble that appears is customizable. Right-click on it, go to Properties, and use the options in the box (shown in green above) to change its color, opacity, and shape. You can drag it to anywhere on the document. Clicking on it will bring up the larger box (the purple on the right) where you type or paste your annotations. The larger box can be resized and moved. To minimize the larger box, click the top right corner.

You can attach files as comments. You can also add a button to your toolbar for this feature, or go under the Tools menu, select Comment & Markup, then Attach a File as a Comment. I have used this feature to attach PDFs of talks on Patriarchal Blessings. Your result will look something like this:

You will have the option to choose the icon you want. You can right-click on the icon and select Properties to change its color, opacity, and shape as well.

Notice the two icons on the bottom left of the screen, the yellow bubbles and paper clips. These bring up windows that show you an index of your comments and attachments, respectively.

The interface overall is simpler, and because I have an eye for simplicity I like it better than Microsoft Word. I haven't even begun to explore everything the program can do, however, so have fun with it.

But whether you use Adobe, Microsoft Word, pen and paper, or rock and chisel, the important thing is that we actively engage with the patriarchal blessings our Heavenly Father has given to us. President Thomas S. Monson once taught:

"Your patriarchal blessing is yours and yours alone. It may be brief or lengthy, simple or profound. Length and language do not a patriarchal blessing make. It is the Spirit that conveys the true meaning."

I testify that every patriarchal blessing has that promise for those who will seek until they find. In the sacred name which seals all blessings to their recipients, even Jesus Christ. Amen.

The Difference

"Those who have felt the touch of the Master's hand somehow cannot explain the change which comes into their lives. There is a desire to live better, to serve faithfully, to walk humbly, and to be more like the Savior. Having received their spiritual eyesight and glimpsed the promises of eternity, they echo the words of the blind man to whom Jesus restored sight: 'One thing I know, that, whereas I was blind, now I see' (John 9: 25)." Thomas S. Monson

I think Elder Monson was the one I quoted recently. I respect him as an Elder, and I find I really enjoy what he has to say. This quote, which was E-mailed to me by the Church, is no exception.

And what's amazing is how these E-mails seem to connect with exactly what is happening to me each day! One of my friends, Alexis came up to me and said, "You know, you look different... happier in a way. You look good!" And I know what she sees--It's the spirit! I keep the spirit with me. I don't swear like a sailor on fire anymore, and I live the gospel as it was meant to be followed: with complete obedience at any cost. And I'll admit, it costs me a lot at the moment.

The latest update on my mom? The last time I talked to her about the Church, she randomly brought up my wedding and how she'll "have something to say about it" if I marry someone Mormon... I don't really care though. There's nothing wrong with being Mormon. We have the healthiest lifestyle you could ever hope to find, and I know I'm blessed for my faith. That's something that her disapproval cannot take away from me, even if she threatens to try and ruin my wedding. She will only bring the disapproval on herself, not on me and my husband. So it's whatever. It's not in my nature to dwell on things.

I just wonder if she sees the difference in me that everyone else can see now. Alexis wasn't the first to notice. I've had many a non-member guy approach me recently, including one that is very persistent despite the fact that he has met my boyfriend, and I tell him I'm happy with my relationship. And I'm pretty much what you would call anti-social. I don't go looking for other people's attention. I keep to myself unless I have something to say, at which point I'm brutally honest about what I think, and then I retreat to my own thoughts again. That's how I choose to be. I don't need interaction with people to make me feel validated as a person, especially not now that I have the Savior to look unto in every thought (D&C 6: 36)... I believe highly on that scripture because of the peace it brings throughout my day. And I can't imagine my day without the strength of the spirit, or the love of the Savior.

And the great thing about the gospel? Matthew 6: 20-21

Nobody can take it from you.

Taking Risks

"Along your pathway of life you will observe that you are not the only traveler. There are others who need your help. There are feet to steady, hands to grasp, minds to encourage, hearts to inspire, and souls to save." Thomas S. Monson

On my Google homepage, someone had the fantastic idea to make a function called Mormon Thought of the Day. Elder Monson's is one of today's thoughts, and it made me think about my close friend Jacob (I call him the older brother I never had.) He is currently struggling with I'm not ever sure what in the Church. His parents are very devout Latter-day Saints, and I think he finds it to be smothering. However, I believe he is truly blessed to be raised in the gospel, and I've been trying really hard to get him to see that.

My experience with the branch I attend is that his parents are the ones that everybody admires. I've been to their home, and the church is the dominant influence (and means of decoration) there. They hold family home evening, family prayer, family scripture reading time, etc, etc, etc, I'm sure the list goes on and on. His parents are basically Jack and Jill Mormon with their 7 kids, and all the boys have biblical names. And that's great! I love going to their home because the spirit is really strong there... they have what I want, and it seems to me that they try to share it with me and others whenever they can. I admire his parents for their example, and I respect them a lot.

However, Jacob lives within the home, and sees EVERYTHING that goes on behind closed doors. He sees his parents for who they are when they're depressed, angry, and all of the other times they aren't wearing their Sunday best. And I thought about this, and I came to one conclusion. Our branch admires and respects his parents for how much they serve, dedicate their lives to the gospel, and for being Jack and Jill Mormon... but Jacob doesn't have that right now. He knows his parents aren't the perfect people that we would all assume they are, simply because we don't think to know better. And I'm trying to think of someone else he would look up to, or respect, or confide in... and no one comes to mind. We go to a small branch, and there aren't a lot of members there. And out of all of them, his parents are the ones that are relied on and respected most... so what does he have? And therein, I think, lies the source of the problem.

We all struggle. We all falter. To continue with Elder Monson's analogy, our travels become difficult, the road treacherous and rocky, and the adversary will do whatever he can to separate us from the spirit, and divide us from the loved ones that would strengthen us. This is what happened to Jacob. My clumsy big brother fell off the wagon, and he's angry because the adversary has him thinking that his parents pushed him by being overbearing... and the more they try to reason with him, the less he listens... and now his parents are making desperate statements to lead him back to the straight and narrow... "You don't have to attend your priesthood meeting, but if you don't, it will break my heart," and other such declarations of grief and disappointment have been used against my brother, and it has only exhausted everyone on both sides. I've spent enough time with his family that they've become comfortable with me, and I see inklings of what goes on behind those closed doors, and my heart goes out to all of them because Satan has them all blinded and cornered...

And I'm afraid that Jacob is too far gone to see what is happening... and I'm afraid that if I try to explain it to him, he won't hear it. He has decided that because his parents eat/sleep/breathe/live the Church, they are the Church, and every time they go another round in this battle, he pulls himself further away from all of us... and I don't want to make it worse. He feels like everything is closing in from all sides, and he wants everything to get out of his face. I don't want the cross hairs on me too, and to be accounted as one of the ones working against him. But if I interfere, I run the risk of having that happen.

Elder Monson urges that there are souls to save, and I believe him. I just hope the spirit will be with me as I aid a fellow traveler, friend, and the older brother I never had... but always wanted...

And wish to keep.