Understanding Polygamy: A Brief History

In 1882, Congress passed the Edmunds Act--legislation that made polygamy a felony. This act was solely in response to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints' practice of plural marriage.

However, to make polygamy illegal would have been ineffective because evidence to prove polygamous marriage wasn't easy to obtain. To prosecute fairly would require testimony and evidence only the Church and its members could give, which obviously wasn't going to happen.

So the U.S. government tried to be clever and pass legislation that would make "bigmous" and "unlawful cohabitation" a felony, which would allow for circumstantial evidence to be enough to prove that polygamy had taken place.

Further disregarding the rule of law, the Edmunds Act provided a cover for arresting people who said they believed in plural marriage, but did not practice it themselves. Men were also arrested ex post facto, or for polygamous marriages that were performed before the law was passed in 1882.

Due process was simply ignored as more than 1300 men were arrested, including many prominent leaders in the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles and the First Presidency of the Church. Included among these is George Q. Cannon (center) who would serve as First Counselor under 4 Church presidents before the end of his life, including when this picture was taken in 1888.

The mentality behind this legislation was that no woman of her own accord would ever participate in polygamy. Female members of the early church needed to be liberated from their husbands and the pressures of the Church to conform, and the opponents were willing to come at the Mormons with everything in their arsenal.

Yes, including cheesy political cartoons.

These pressures and prejudices inspired what, to me, has always been one of the most powerful pieces of Mormon literature ever published.

And, to no one's surprise, it was written by a woman.

Is it Ignorance?

This is the question that Emmeline B. Wells posed in an article published in The Women's Exponent on July 1, 1883. Speaking to the federal legislators and civilian critics, Wells writes:

It seems a very common thing with people unaquainted with the facts to say, it is the ignorance of "Mormon" women "that keeps them in bondage," that "makes them submit to plural marriage," when in truth the very contrary is the case. It is because of the intelligence they possess on subjects connected with their existence here and hereafter, as well as that of their posterity and kindred, the hopes entertained, and the actual knowledge concerning the future that causes them to embrace a doctrine so unpopular and so objectionable in the eyes of the world. Such paragraphs as the following and similar ones abound in the newspapers and journals of the day: "It was hoped by giving the women of Utah the ballot they would use it for the destruction of the monster, which keeps them under its iron heel, in hopeless misery." These people may be well meaning, but they talk nonsense and folly in the extreme...

If anyone supposes these same women citizens to be ignorant of the rights the ballot gives them, then they know very little about the women of this Territory, and our advice to them is, let the matter rest until you have an opportunity of solving the problem by thorough investigation, and not from one side, and remember the words of the Savior, "Judge not, lest ye be judged." (Source: PBS.org)

For someone on a leash and horribly repressed, she sure does seem to know what she's about.

The first time I read Is it Ignorance? I was in high school. I don't remember if I was baptized yet or not, but Wells' testimony of polygamy impressed me. Her conviction was sincere, and her answer was consistent and full of doctrinal substance. Her question was compelling.

Polygamy--even faith itself--was it ignorance?

I had my faith and my witness from the Holy Ghost. In these I had my answer, my certainty. No, it wasn't ignorance. It was God.

But because polygamy was the only thing the people around me knew about the Mormons, it was the subject that was raised the most to me both before and after I became a member. The issue became an irritant, not to my testimony but to my patience, because the matter seemed so entirely irrelevant to the question they were really asking:

Is the Church true, despite polygamy? Or even simpler than that, is the Church true?

I wasn't the sort of person who could look at Joseph Smith and think, Oh my gosh, he was a polygamist and he kept it a secret, the Church must not be true!

Pardon my French, but that's nonsense.

Unless someone out there has a flux capacitor and a Delorian, the future still has no logical impact on the past. The First Vision had already happened and the Restoration was underway by the time polygamy ever became an issue. That Joseph revealed polygamy in 1831 has no logical impact on whether or not the First Vision took place in 1820. Or the restoration of the priesthood in 1829. Or the formal organization of the Church in 1830.

Unless of course the critics saying Joseph wasn't the prophet of the Restoration want to base that claim on something that hadn't even happened yet. In which case I should probably ask, Does God deny you blessings or punish you for sins that you haven't committed yet?

I hope not. That would suck.

Beyond chronology, it made perfect sense to me that Joseph would be commanded to implement polygamy, and then hesitate to widely publicize the practice.

No one need look any further than the Old Testament to see whether polygamy is allowable to the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob--considering Abraham and Jacob practiced polygamy. Polygamy is as eternal as the gospel itself, seeing as its the gospel that binds it. Its ancient origins are evidence enough of that.

But I can see two simple reasons why Joseph would hesitate to be too public with polygamy. On a personal level, Joseph was well aware that plural marriage would make his enemies want to kill him, not to mention break his wife's heart and cause many of his friends to abandon him. Those prospects are not pleasant to anyone, but especially not to someone who knew the loneliness that Joseph felt from having been mocked and hated from a young age for the destiny God had given him--what he could not deny or escape.

No one who hasn't felt that pain should never discredit it. It is not an easy burden to bear.

What critics must also remember is that Saints past and present, even though we no longer practice polygamy, still view it as a sacred marriage ordinance. We view polygamy with the same respect we view for our standard, monogamous marriage ceremony because we believe both are bound by the same God. To make certain details public would be extremely blasphemous to God and deeply offensive in our eyes. Being too open about polygamy would invite conversations with others about something that is not ours to discuss--something too sacred to profane even with well-intended words.

The Church's reserved approach to polygamy today reflects much of this same caution and reverence.

Is it Choice?

In short, you can look at Joseph Smith and the Church in regards to polygamy (or anything else, for that matter) and see secrecy, or questionable activities of a surreal nature that are too strange to believe. Or you can see a man and an organization that were destined to become much greater than they had the ability to become on their own--requiring transformation and struggle, a deep and abiding reliance on Jesus Christ and obedience to His commandments.

That's the choice. You can make it with God through prayer, with the faith that the Holy Ghost will reveal the answer unto you with clarity you cannot deny. Or you can do what a fair number of members are trying to do right now by trying to find conviction through history. Evidence. "Objectivity."

But expecting history to give you impartial, neutral certainty about anyone or anything is impossible. Relying on a secular approach to history when you're in search of religious conviction, is madness--the equivalent of relying on the understanding of stupid people who have studied the deeds of other stupid people in an attempt to find God.

If there's anything I learned from being a history major, it's that people are stupid. They've been stupid for a very long time. I include myself in this gladly. I'm one of the stupidest people I know, and I can say that with a smile for one reason.

I'm stupid because I'm human. Mortal. Fallible. It means that all of the glorious experiences I've had exist despite me. They have nothing to do with any capability I have. And to my great joy, studying history has revealed something quite amazing to me.

People all over the world are stupid, just like me. And somehow, we all go on living. We live despite our frailties, we endure despite our penchants for things that are self destructive, and we go on experiencing what we can't understand--only to discover there was a design to them all along.

I don't take that as a sign that people somehow manage all of that without God. On the contrary--I think the existence of God is the most self-evident, inescapable reality there is. I don't think our humanity could exist without Him, and in that way it's a gift. Learning relies on that frailty because that frailty allows for change.

So reader. After all this, the choice is yours. What's it going to be?

"Blind" Faith

There is no such thing as blind faith--not for any Latter-day Saint serious about his Christianity anyway. Faith, in its truest vigilance and heartfelt form, looks honestly on Christ and knows that He lives because the evidence of that fact is sufficient and provided for by the Holy Ghost.

But Paradox, you've never seen God. How can you say that?


Because I've heard Him speak to me and I've felt His love for me. I've spoken to Him, I've trusted Him, and I've been trusted by Him. I've been taught and strengthened by Him. I've been protected and sanctified by Him. I have followed Him, walked beside Him, gotten myself lost and been found by Him. I've been in His holy House and stood in His presence. In short, I have had experiences--because I love Him--that allow me to do everything short of seeing Him. And honestly, those experiences have been so precious to me, I would feel presumptuous to ask for more in my weak and mortal state. Truly it has been said, and truly I feel of myself that "the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak." (Matthew 26: 41) To see Him in the flesh is a greater blessing than I can ask for now.

But I believe, because I have seen His hand in my life, that I will see Him again if I do my part to be obedient to His commandments and rely upon His grace and mercy. In Acts, we read that the disciples asked Christ when He would return to the earth. According to that record, He said, "It is not for you to know the times or the seasons, which the Father hath put in his own power. But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you: and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem, and in all Judaea, and in Samaria, and unto the uttermost part of the earth." (Acts 1: 7-8)

I have faith that the experiences I have had with Jesus Christ--the healing I've obtained, the strength I've received, the goodness that has edified me--have been real. They are real because He lives. No faith in Him is ever blind--for even fleeting glimpses of even the smallest trace of goodness require sight. I testify that as we yield to that sight, our ability to know of Christ increases, until at last we reach that day when we shall stand before our Lord at the Judgment Bar, knowing the full extent of our goodness and guilt.

That we will seek for our Savior always, wherever we may stand, is my prayer in the name of Jesus Christ.

AMEN

Sustaining Faith

I present you with the talk I gave yesterday on Sustaining Faith. After I troll around the internet, get some more reading done, and finish all of the poems I've been thinking about and working on, I shall make another post.

Until then...

Kim Allgood and his wife, Linda, entered my life at a time when I was returning to a crossroads, the place where crucial and irreversible changes are made. At the time, I was confident that joining the Church was what I needed to do, and had no doubts. Because of my confidence, and my faith in the witness I had already received on the truth of this church, I viewed my pre-baptism lessons as a formality, a way to pass the summer until the date of my baptism. Make no mistake; I do not regret my decision. I do wonder, however, if I underestimated the value of those lessons, and the truth they contained. I recall that, to close one of my lessons, Brother Allgood said, “And all we need to do is endure to the end.” At the time, I didn’t understand what that was supposed to mean. As far as I was concerned, my life was only going to get better once I stepped out of that baptismal font at the end of August. But within days, I quickly learned that Enduring to the End is the most difficult thing I’ve ever done, and continue to do; which brings me to my topic: Sustaining Faith.

Sustaining my faith has been challenging and exhausting at times. Like so many converts before me, my faith was tested when I was forced to make decisions I never wanted to make, to answer questions I never wanted asked of me. Imagine what you would do if commanded to:

1. Choose between your family and your future in the Church

2. Choose between your friends as you know them for the people they really are.

3. Choose between the habits and knowledge you have always trusted for a new way of life.

4. Choose God over EVERYthing else.

Many of us do not need to imagine such choices. We’ve faced these trials and more; we’ve said our prayers for the easy answers that we know will never come. We’ve grappled with ourselves over the counsel we’ve received; grieved because of what our Father’s counsel has meant for us. But it is my prayer that we meet this adversity with humble hearts and trusting spirits as we return to him in honest faith, saying, “Thy will be done.” I pray that we all know that Our Father has NEVER, and will never abandon us. Even when His plan, His way seems unfair, we must always remember that He has our millions of possibilities in mind as he tries to lead us to the path back to Him. “Enduring to the End” is something we will never have to do alone. Remembering our bond with our Heavenly parents and our Savior is essential to our lives as Latter-day Saints. Without a testimony of this undeniable truth, there is no faith to sustain. If you find yourself in such a place spiritually that you cannot testify of your place within the loving arms of our Savior, it is my suggestion that you start here. I promise you that your search will not be an empty one.

Faith in this Church is like a puzzle. Heavenly Father and Christ are the central pieces. Once this piece is in place, I know from personal experience that the others will follow in their own time. We cannot expect these pieces to be given to us all at once, or in our time. Even if we decide to be proactive, to pursue the truth of this gospel fervently; to expect ourselves to come to a perfect understanding of all things is unrealistic. How often have our unrealistic expectations of ourselves and others been a source of discomfort to us? Understanding is a precious unification of knowledge and experience that will bless us if we strive for it. If we’re going to Endure to the End, we can only do it through understanding. Brother John Bytheway said it best when he recommended that we come to a place spiritually where we may have questions about the Church, but we have no doubts about fundamental gospel truths. Sustaining faith is when we eliminate doubt, and spend our energy answering our questions. Then we’ll be able to find and assemble the rest of the pieces of our testimony puzzle. For me, the pieces are:

1. Testimony of the Scriptures (The Bible and the Book of Mormon)

2. Belief in Joseph Smith’s First Vision, and his teachings and revelations as a Prophet of God.

3. Belief that we, as the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, have a modern-day Prophet, our beloved Gordon B. Hinckley, who is at the head of this church by the will and authority of God.

4. A knowledge of the Temple, its place in our lives and in the plan of salvation

I’ve come to appreciate how much like a puzzle the Church really is. All of the pieces must come together. Without any one of the pieces, the entire testimony falls apart. Do not assume for a second that the Adversary doesn’t know how testimonies are assembled. He has slowly DISassembled enough of them to know which pieces we struggle with, and how to coerce us to pull the pieces out ourselves, one by one; which is the only way he will ever have power over us. To fight his influence, we must be searching for and piecing together our testimony, and standing against anything that would impede us, even when it hurts. Even when it’s difficult. Even when we don’t feel like it. Even when we may feel like we’d rather do ANYTHING else. We must stand, Brothers and Sisters, for the truth that has shaped our lives as Latter-day Saints. How do we do that? A few suggestions:

Become skilled with the tools within the standard answer.

The standard answer is what we, in Sister Mlodoch’s class, have labeled the conclusion that we reach for enough of our lessons that we’ve shortened the response to “Standard Answer.” The tools of the standard answer, as I like to call them, are:

1. Prayer

2. Fasting

3. Tithing

4. Reading the Scriptures

5. Sharing your testimony

6. Coming to Church

Each tool serves its own purpose for the person wielding it. A screwdriver is a hammer in the hands of anyone other than me, I’m sure. The tools within the standard answer serve different purposes depending on the person wielding them as well. Prayer, for me, is a source of peace. But when I need to break a bad habit, I fast. Tithing and sharing my testimony increase my appreciation and gratitude for the blessings I’ve been given, but sharing my testimony also helps me to use the talents I’ve been given to share the gospel. Reading the scriptures is what I do when I have a crisis of questions about my life and my place in it. Each tool serves a different purpose for me, and some of them aren’t interchangeable. For me, trying to break a bad habit with prayer alone, instead of fasting, is like showing up with a Phillips when you need a Flathead.

Learning when to use what tool is an important aspect of sustaining faith because these are the tools our Heavenly Father has given us to draw closer to Him, and to keep His Spirit. People try to get around using these tools because they work by a force that, if it came up in Physics, I would have gotten a better grade. That force is Faith. With these tools, you’re using a hammer to strike a nail you can’t see with your eyes. You’re trying to power a drill with a different kind of battery. It takes a lot of practice, and much trial and error before you figure out how to make it work for yourself. But the longer you wait to begin, the longer you keep yourself from our Father in Heaven and His Spirit.

Coming to Church is a tool in its own way, because it’s by coming to Church that we learn ways to use the other tools. But more importantly, coming to Church, taking the Sacrament; they are the means by which we complete an essential task that was illustrated perfectly by a lesson that Sister Wheeler gave to our Young Women’s class a few Sundays ago. She placed a chair in front of us, and asked for a volunteer. I finally sat down, and she pulled out a bright yellow rope and began to tie me to the chair. The rope was sin, Brothers and Sisters, and with each additional layer, it was harder and harder for me to move. Soon, I couldn’t have moved even if I had wanted to. We come to Church because it’s hard, if possible at all, to get out of a chair by yourself when you’re tied to it; especially when bound by the strongest ropes of iniquity. By coming to Church, we are able to take the Sacrament, receive blessings from the Brethren, and use our spiritual tools to help our friends and neighbors, our brothers and sisters, to be released from their chairs; that they may be able to stand in holier places, to stand for truth and righteousness again.

I fear that sometimes we may become trapped, like I sometimes am, by the idea that I must get through my trials alone; that there is some inherent weakness in asking for help, by relying on anyone else’s tools but my own. However, we do ourselves a great disservice by feeding ourselves such self-centered thoughts. We deny ourselves the freedom that Our Father is trying to bless us with through the hands of others. We hinder our own spiritual growth by removing from our character the Christ-like quality of Humility. Christ taught us to love one another, which is why complete self-sufficiency, although celebrated in our culture, is not how we ought to be. Attuning ourselves to the Spirit in order to serve others, and through them, Our God. Obeying the commandments we’ve been given, and enduring to the end so that we might leave the world in better condition than when we inherited it. Now THAT’S something worth celebrating.

How will we know if we’re becoming attuned to the Spirit?

Keep a Journal–Journals are a powerful means of attuning yourself with the Spirit. I have found that some of my most meaningful council that I’ve received from the Spirit has come when I was writing with my journal. A journal is a place to gather ongoing and personalized revelations, which then serves as spiritual food storage for tough times ahead that are sure to come. And like food storage, they can also aid your posterity, if stored and preserved with the future in mind. A journal is also a wonderful tool for self-improvement. It allows you to put your thoughts, goals, and essentially to put yourself on paper. Then, you’ll be able to judge what you see for yourself, make changes where you see fit, and monitor your progress as you seek to establish and maintain your faith.

We’ve discussed HOW to endure to the end, but I also want to reiterate on WHY we sustain our faith. First of all, to endure to the end is a covenant we made at our baptism. We promised to be faithful to Him in word and deed, and we will be held accountable for our actions if we decide to disregard that promise. Secondly, we sustain our faith because, to do so effectively, we must have personal goals that provide an End for which to endure. Our goals are individual, allowing us to decide for ourselves what we will make of the precious time on Earth that our Father has given us. But we must be careful, because our goals (or lack thereof) determine the quality of our time, which can be either a blessing or a curse.

My mother has only given me one piece of advice in the seventeen years I’ve been living with her. “Life is what you make it,” is the simple statement she offered me at a particularly chaotic period in my life. That simple statement altered the way I perceived my place within my existence from then on. I realized I had the power and the responsibility to change the direction and the destination of my life, to take a past full of anguish and disappointment and construct something remarkable, and worthy of dignity. And as I sustain my faith, I leave the darkest time of my life further and further behind me, and I’m willing to promise that you can achieve the same thing. It all depends on your goals, and how much you dedicate yourself to achieving them.

Setting goals effectively, therefore, is one of the most important skills for a worthy Saint to develop. In order to be of any use to us, our goals must require something specific and tangible, so that we will know when we come closer to completion, or deviate from our course. We should be on the lookout for examples of what we’d like to achieve with our lives. Examples are all around us: people we admire, people in the scriptures, family members, friends, neighbors, ancestors, leaders in the Church. My goals are often based on what I find in books. The most complete image I’ve ever seen of how I envision my future is from The Grapes of Wrath. I’d like to share it with you to illustrate another point. The following passage is a description of Ma Joad, the mother in John Steinbeck’s novel about the Dust Bowl and the Great Depression:

“Ma was heavy, but not fat; thick with childbearing and work. She wore a loose Mother Hubbard of gray cloth in which there had once been colored flowers, but the color was washed out now, so that the small flowered pattern was only a little lighter gray than the background. The dress came down to her ankles, and her strong, broad, bare feet moved quickly and deftly over the floor. Her thin, steel-gray hair was gathered in a sparse wispy knot at the back of her head. Strong, freckled arms were bare to the elbow, and her hands were chubby and delicate, like those of a plump little girl. She looked out into the sunshine. Her full face was not soft; it was controlled, kindly. Her hazel eyes seemed to have experienced all possible tragedy and to have mounted pain and suffering like steps into a high calm and superhuman understanding. She seemed to know, to accept, to welcome her position, the citadel of the family, the strong place that could not be taken. And since old Tom and the children could not know hurt or fear unless she acknowledged hurt and fear, she had practiced denying them in herself. And since, when a joyful thing happened, they looked to see whether joy was on her, it was her habit to build up laughter out of inadequate materials. But better than joy was calm. Imperturbability could be depended upon. And from her great and humble position in the family she had taken dignity and a clean calm beauty. From her position as healer, her hands had grown sure and cool and quiet; from her position as arbiter she had become as remote and faultless in judgment as a goddess. She seemed to know that if she swayed the family shook, and if she ever really deeply wavered or despaired the family would fall, the family will to function would be gone.”

Within this goal are several smaller goals that are all qualities of a Christ-like character. By developing Ma Joad’s characteristics of patience, kindness, charity, humility, discipline, courage, and loyalty, I will achieve my goal of becoming the kind of mother I’ve always wanted to be, and becoming more like my Savior, which is the larger goal of all of our lives. We have a divine responsibility to be worthy of a celestial inheritance. By becoming more like our Brother and Savior, we will be prepared for when we must make use of what we learned in these days of preparation. Our righteous living will be a blessing to us and is WORTH THE TRIALS THAT WE FACE IN ORDER TO BE RIGHTEOUS.

The goals we make together as a Church on sustaining faith are just as important as the goals we make for ourselves. Our Church has endured the countless trials it has faced for over a century because of the Saints’ willingness to work together. Last week, Brother Angerbauer challenged all of us to imagine and see the circumstances where we could boldly share our faith with our friends and neighbors. I want to add to that image by asking all of us to imagine our congregation where the people who are already here have no doubts about the truth of this Church. I know for a fact that there are those among us that do more than question the truth at times. They doubt quietly to themselves about the gospel, allowing their doubts to fester because they don’t know how to ask for help, or have tried to ask for help so many time already, they are weary from the strain and disappointment that comes when the questions go unanswered, and continue to fester.

I challenge all of us, Brothers and Sisters, to remember that we are BROTHERS and SISTERS in Christ. We were not put on this Earth to give up on each other. We are here to learn and to grow, and to help others grow as well. We sustain each other in our callings with the uplifted hand. Let us always be willing to sustain one another OUTSIDE of our callings, to be sources of truth at ALL times. Let us strive to be guides for others who may be losing their way, to the already lost, and even to those trying desperately to return to the fold. Why? Because we’re a family, and that is what families do.

I want to close by sharing my testimony that I know this Church is true. I know that Heavenly Father is a loving Father that endowed us with our precious agency; the greatest asset in overcoming Satan’s influence. I know that our Father in Heaven has provided us with tools that will bless our lives if we dedicate ourselves to learning how to use them. I know, without a doubt in my mind, that Joseph Smith was a Prophet of God, and that because of his First Vision, we have this Church today. I know that Gordon B. Hinckley is a modern-day Prophet, and if we heed his inspired council, we will be better Saints for it. I know that the temple is the sacred house where we do provide a real and important service to the Saints who came before us, and need us to give them their second chance.

Even in time of my personal struggle, during my crises of questions, my foundation in the gospel has been firm, and I no longer have to question if I’m going to make it through the next one. I no longer feel as if I’m living on a day-to-day basis with something missing from my life. My life is complete now because of the gospel, and I refuse to have it any other way, and I pray that all of you have the same resolve. Know that you are special people in my life, and I appreciate everything you have done for me, and I leave these thoughts and my best wishes with you in the name of our Beloved Jesus Christ. AMEN

Tolerance

"We need more anti-Mormon books. They keep us on our toes." Hugh Nibley

I must say, I was due for an anti-Mormon experience. Can't seem to go more than a few weeks without one. I take it in good stride, especially since I'm in the process of sharing the gospel with someone who could really benefit from having faith in his life.

In one of my past posts, someone has recently left his version of the 95 Theses for Mormonism as a comment. With Hugh Nibley's words in mind, I responded in the best way I could. I didn't feel, though, that the matter was completely settled.

I'm not one to function by negatives. I don't want to hear what I'm not supposed to do. Rather, I deal in action. What am I supposed to do? How should I co-exist with members of other faiths, or even the atheists who view faith as a malady? How should I approach such a delicate issue, I asked myself after reading what this person had to say.

I found an interesting essay (yes, Sean, on FAIR) that I think illustrates perfectly what Christ-like tolerance is supposed to look like. The author, Daniel C. Peterson, recalls the story of a Lutheran bishop who suggested how to relate to others of different faiths. To quote Peterson, the Lutheran bishop broke down his perspective into 3 rules:

1. "When you want to learn about a religion you should ask the adherents to that religion and not its enemies."
2. "Don't compare your best with their worst."
3. "Leave room for what he called 'holy envy.' "

Looking at this set of ideals, I'm impressed by the inter-faith relations that could be developed by such paradigms. Instead of entering a situation and thinking, "How can I convert this person to my perspective of my God?" think of what could be achieved if we thought "What can I learn from this person's faith, and what they're trying to accomplish with it?" By looking at faith instead of denomination, a more peaceful co-existence is possible. And I suggest co-existence because I find I get more respect from people when I follow principles of being open-minded as opposed to being judgmental. I've cultivated more credibility as a faithful Church member by following the Savior's example than I ever could be being pedantic and forceful of my own understanding in order to convert others. But of course, that's just me.

I would like to add, however, a rule of my own to the quoted set of three that I believe is also important, albeit subjective:

4. Take into account the spiritual witness that has been given to others.

Heavenly Father loves all of his children. He has blessed us all at one time or another, no matter what our circumstances might be. Just because someone is not a member of my church does not mean that they lack guidance from Our Father in Heaven. For example, my martial arts instructor has received what she and I both believe to be divine guidance from Heavenly Father about how to grow her business (long story for a different post.)

It would be wrong of me to undermine that spiritual witness in any way, because it isn't mine to interpret. I have my own witness that has led me to the path I'm on. She has her path that her witness has created for her. Neither of us are wrong; only obedient to what we have been given. And a lot of the time, personal witness is something that cannot be explained; the full effect is only reached with the person for whom it was intended. Therefore, we have no place to question what has been given to others because there is no way we could ever fully appreciate or understand what was meant for someone else.

Many people don't agree with me, but I believe that we will never live in John Lennon's world from his song "Imagine," nor do I want to envision it. "Nothing to kill or die for And no religion too" is about as scary as even a pretend society gets for me, because my religion is the means by which I've learned to be less violent. Religion is supposed to be a means of peace. But denomination is the real tool of Satan here. The adversary, I think, would have us believe that we MUST be separate to be right, to have us believe that to co-exist is impossible. But by co-existing, imagine the great things we could accomplish. If instead of trying to destroy faith because is doesn't have the right NAME on it, we could instead celebrate the faith we have when there is so little of it left in the world.

Just a suggestion.

Opposition

This is what I posted on my MySpace after an incident I had with my teacher on the 8th. It describes what happened to me, and how I reacted to it. And to be honest, I still haven't decided how I feel about it. I'll let you be the judge though.

I'm not a polygamist!!!!! 

Yeah, I don't think I've ever been so insulted by a teacher as I was today. And what really bothers me is that I said nothing back. Me... the one who trains people in self defense... I didn't say anything.... I chose not to act... and it's just another thing I'll end up regretting and beating myself up for. 

And the more I think about it, the more I know I can never do anything about what she did, because of HOW she did it... 

I suppose starting at the beginning would be helpful... 

I was in English today, and in order to explain to Soon what a talisman is, she started using some example of Joseph Smith, the originator of the Mormon religion. Apparently, according to some book she read, he gave all of his wives some kind of rock or something and told them it would keep them safe or something.... (yeah, but a Catholic can have a rosary and put the same kind of faith behind it, and THAT'S not strange? OK. Fine. And no offense to any of you Catholics out there... I'm just making a point.) 

But my teacher initiates a conversation that basically demonizes Mormonism, and has my entire class saying what a bunch of retards the Mormons must be. And it's one thing when a bunch of people I don't even care about start discussing my religion that way because they don't know I'm Mormon... but when the people that are my friends (or at least claim to be) only aggravate my situation by loudly saying, "Wow Heather, that guy WAS A REAL CRACKPOT!".... 

(Yeah, that didn't help me there guy. I have never judged you for smoking pot as a means of coping with your life.... don't judge me by the way I deal with mine. Especially since Spence doesn't know what she's talking about.) 

There is so much more to my religion than just polygamy. Yeah, a faction of the church out in the middle of no where that broke away from the main church ages ago still practices polygamy. They live in the desert of Utah. They are not the Mormons I go to church with. You look at ANY religion, and there will be the extremest sects that do things that are bizarre. But I don't begrudge them anything, because it's what they know. I don't begrudge ANYONE for their choices. That's just how I am, because I always thought that I would be given the same courtesy by extending it to other people... my mistake I guess. 

This isn't even the first time my teacher has done this about Mormonism. She did the same thing to my face right before Christmas break by saying that Joseph Smith wrote the Book of Mormon based off of Jewish texts. And that's not what we believe. We believe they were translated off of golden plates that were given to him by God. And I don't care how insane that sounds. Ever hear of Daniel? Or Jonah? Or any of the other miracles that defy logic that are all throughout the Bible? So don't tell me that I'm crazy for believing what I believe. It takes no more faith than reading the Bible-- like any other Christian who reads it and believes in what it says. 

The only one that stood up for me wasn't some one I called a close friend. She's a classmate; one that has a good heart, and knows what it's like to be alienated because she loves her religion. Even though she's Catholic, her best friend is Mormon, and she defended our religion by communicating the displeasure that I couldn't bring myself to speak regarding the conversation. I'll always remember her for that, and I'm glad she was there. 

A lesson I didn't think I was going to have to learn is that when the stakes get really high, you know who your real friends are. I always thought I was a good judge of character. Turns out, I see good where it exists only when it's convenient. The people I've known for years said nothing to help or defend me. Even saying, "Perhaps we should change the subject," like I was TRYING to say would have been helpful.... 

Someone I've always tried to help turned on me and did what, I thought, was a stab in the back. (But I know her well enough that she meant no harm, so if you're reading this, know that it's already forgotten.) People who know that I'm Mormon fed the conversation and gave it life.... all of this instigated by a teacher, whom I always viewed as nothing short of professional until recently.... 

And the one who spoke up for me wasn't who I thought it was going to be... instead, THAT person left her comments with me this morning... and to that person, who claims so succinctly that I'm basically a horrible example for my church, I say "Consider how far I've come. And at least I'm TRYING, even if I always seem to fail with you. And for that, I'm truly sorry." 

I said nothing. I teach self defense for a living, and I was frozen in my seat. It felt like sitting in the middle of Hell. I was shaking I was so angry, but I couldn't speak. And I knew that, no matter what I said, I couldn't improve the situation. I only would have shouted and made a scene, solidifying in everyone's mind that all Mormons are crazy.... but instead, I sat there and said nothing. I grappled with my rage in silent agony... I allowed the situation to step on me and fade into the distance.... and while it was Christ's way to turn the other cheek, it isn't MY way... it isn't what I wished to do... I wish I could've defended the church. I wish I could have said something that shut that stupid woman up. I wish I could have said or done anything that would have left something better about the gospel with people. But I didn't. What kind of servant am I? 

Everyone needs something to believe in. I've made my choice. I have the experiences to back it up. To me, they are enough to keep me in the church, no matter what anyone may say. If the Church was just a bunch of polygamists, do people REALLY think I'm stupid enough that I would stay there? Is that it? I'm trying to understand... and I come up short. 

I'll never forget coming home and collapsing on the floor, because I lost the will to keep myself together. All I want is for people to let me have my religion. I don't have much in this life. I work in a karate school, and I do more volunteer work to make a difference in this community than probably most of my school combined. That, and church, is the only thing I really allow myself to take joy in because they're things that aren't tangible and can't be taken from me. I go to school, I work hard, and all I want is to be left alone. I want to be left to my sphere of existence in order to have my peace. Yet I can't have that. I give of myself constantly to people, despite my anti-social tendencies because I DO CARE! I care a lot... more than I want people to know. Why can't that be enough for now? Why can't people see what I'm trying to do? 

My experience this afternoon only exemplifies WHY I believe in God. I had to sit on my living room floor, and was crushed because, once again, I had no one. My mother is one of the many who thinks I'm a freak for being Mormon. My friends just proved to me that they didn't care. My Mormon friends weren't home from school yet, and what could they say? There was nothing they could say... I called them, and they were angry... but anger doesn't really do much except raise your body temperature, I've come to realize... once again, people failed me. That's what people are good at: failing one another. And I'm not saying I don't. I'm just saying it's something we do. 

Can you blame me for not being satisfied with that answer? For wanting something more? For wanting to go to a church that truly makes me feel that I CAN be better? God is very real to me. I wasn't just converted to Mormonism. I was converted to a way of life that has cleansed me from the inside out. And it hasn't failed me yet. It's not that I've sacrificed my free agency to a bunch of Bible beaters. HARDLY! I live the lifestyle because I've learned that doing what I please doesn't make me happy. I finally accepted that my way doesn't work. So I've changed my ways. I'm a better person for it. 

And so it kills me when people look at my religion, and see Polygamy. They then turn to me and ask, "What are you DOING?!" 

And to them I say, "Not being a polygamist, for one. I'm being happy. What are YOU doing?"

People have asked me why I'm so upset about it, and why I'm so concerned with what everyone thinks of me. Really, I could care less what they think of me. My concern is for the Church. I see everyone so miserable all the time, and if I had my way, they would understand that there ARE ways to be happy. And I'm not talking, I-got-something-for-my-birthday momentary circumstantial happiness. I mean that if someone asked you about your life, and whether you were truly satisfied with it, you could smile to yourself, close your eyes and have tears coming down your face because you can answer, "Yes!" with all the fervor of your being.... that is what I have. And if I had my way, I would be able to share that with people. But experiences like the one in italics prevent that from happening, and it angers me. It absolutely infuriates me that people can be so egotistical as to tear something apart that they don't understand.

The church supported polygamy at a time when being Mormon was a good enough reason for someone to kill you. The early saints were forced further and further west, away from everything they had ever known and loved with nothing but what they could carry in covered wagons. If the Christians didn't kill them, then the journey would, more likely than not. There were so many widows that could not care for their children during the voyage that the Prophet (Joseph Smith), had no choice. He received revelation to allow polygamy as a means for taking care of those who were left that didn't have fathers and husbands. The society was extremely patriarchal, and therefore, polygamy became necessary. Don't you think that the saints struggled with that? And they did it out of obedience to our Heavenly Father. To me, that is true faith. To believe something even when it sounds crazy, or asks of you what society tells you is too much, is faith.

Our present-day Prophet, Gordon B. Hinckley, says that to discuss polygamy, or to give it the attention that it receives is absolutely unnecessary, and I agree. The church is not about polygamy. Mormons are not polygamists. And that's all I have to say on the issue.