No More Church Ladies Hugging Me Without My Consent 2020

"I'm just going to hug you."

That's literally what she said, y'all. Then did it before I even knew who it was or why someone was touching me. 

If my husband wasn't with me, I probably would've screamed in the middle of the Walmart. This is the second person from my ward who has hugged me from behind without my consent. The last time it happened, I was at church for the first time in months and I actually did scream. Right in the middle of the prelude music.

Let's talk about personal space.

You need permission to enter someone else's personal space. Especially if you don't know them that well. Knowing someone from church is NOT implied consent to be able to touch them.

If you want to hug someone, ask first. Be okay with hearing "No thanks" as an answer without taking it personally. It doesn't mean someone doesn't like you. It just means they don't want to be touched.

I struggle with this with the people in my ward. They are big on hugging, handshakes, and not asking before they touch me. They do it at church. They do it in public. I realize it's well-intended. But that doesn't make it okay.

My PTSD makes it very hard for me to be in public. I'm always on edge in large rooms with lots of people, especially when I can't see behind me. I get deeply stressed just by being at church or at the grocery store. If people gave me the choice, I would almost always say no to a hug in those settings.

If you don't know someone well enough to be sure if they have these kinds of issues or not, you don't know them well enough to be touching them without permission. 

So, just don't do it.

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